Maybe I’m too hopeful in life or too positive. When things change rapidly worse in life I tend to think it’s really not that bad, and things can change for the better just as fast. Sometimes I’m right. Hopefully I’m right.
This wasn’t one of those times.
I was working out of town that week. Before I left, Cameron has some issues going on. Nothing too big, but they were odd. Things I havne’t seen in other seven year olds or his older brother. He would sleep a lot. He became disinterested in toys, friends, and foods he used to love. He had nose bleeds. But the strangest was waking up in the middle of the night with pains. At 12:30am it would be his right leg. At 3am it would be if left arm. 6am would be a headache. It wasn’t adding up, and it seemed to be getting worse.
Sunday before I left for my trip I told his mom to keep an eye on him and we should get him checked out when I get back. Not thinking anything more of it I left.
The week started out normal. Cameron was doing fine except in the night. The aches continued. Tiredness occured in the day, but it made sense as he wasn’t sleeping well at night. By Thursday, his mom called the doctors to schedule in appointment for Monday.
They want to see him now.
Ok? Sounds a little alarming but Ok. They want to be proactive. Great. I got the update and continued on my work. By the afternoon, things were getting discouraging. They want to take in to Children’s Downtown to run some tests. Being very proactive? No… somethings up. They’re going to keep him overnight. What? Really? Ok, I’ll make plans to come home early.
I make the hour and half drive that evening to the airport. Staring at my phone and the road equally. Looking for an update… any update. I don’t get that update as I reach the airport. No more flights back home. So I go to hotel near by and wait for my 6am flight.
And wait I do. It seemed like an eternity. 8pm came and went. 9pm came and went 10pm came and I get the call.
I’m on speakerphone with his mother and the oncologist team. The oncologist team. They didn’t have to say anything more. Cancer doctors. Once they started talking, it felt as if they were talking a mile a minute and using terms I know nothing of. I search the room and quickly grabbed a notepad and pen. I wrote so much chicken stratch and abbreviations. Low hemoglobin, low platlettes, low white blood cells, presences of blasts. No idea what any of this means. But at the end of their speil the only words that burned in my head were: “We believe he has Leukemia. We will know more tomorrow after a flow test.”
I cried. I prayed. I remained hopeful. They said we believe. We believe certainly does not mean he definitley does.
And that’s it. Phone call ended. I’m alone. I’m a thousand miles away. Nothing I can do, nothing I can change. I felt so damn useless. So many questions… so many emotions… All I wanted to do was hold him and run my hands through his hair like I always did. I knew that this was going to be a long weekend. I tried to do the impossible and sleep. Day one was over.