Welcome to being admitted to the hospital.

Meet your team:
The nurses
The doctors
Social workers
Physical therapists
Occupational therapists (he doesn’t work?)
Child life workers
House keepers
Behavioral therapists

In fact… let’s meet them all in one day. And lets go over what our indiviaual plans are. Holy cow.

I knew today was going to be a big day, and I am fortunate I got my 3 hours of sleep from the night before. But today was the beginning. Today was real. I left the hotel at 4am and got on my flight home at 6. I landed in Cincinnati at 8:30 and made my way to my new home for the next 30 days.

I got my 24 hour badge and made my way to the floor, I finally got to see him. Smiling. My boy. It was a great sense of relief. It see him how I remember him. It was just great.

As the day progressed, you get a feeling that this is more than a hunch about leukemia. We met dozens of people telling us things we are not going to remember. They’re set for a biopsy, spinal tap, and chemo on Monday. Sooo…. you’re telling me there’s a chance its not cancer right? No.

My nightmare was confirmed at 4pm on Friday. It is cancer. It is Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It affects B-cells. We will be living in the hospital for a month. We will begin chemo. We will have a new life going foward. We will get through this. We will be strong. We will take whatever life throws our way! (See, I told you I’m positive)

Strong as I wish, its a lot. I know. I’m really in shock. I mean really. I kinda shutdown my emotions during times like this. I look stonefaced. I go perservere one task at a time in robot mode.

But as much I would like to self pity me, I need to stay strong for both my boys. Both. As of now Carson, his older brother, know somethings up. And he will keep interrogating until he gets an answer. Now that it is confirmed we sit them both down and explain as best we could what cancer is and how we’re going to fix Cameron.

With Cameron’s mom with Cameron tonight and through the weekend, I will shift my focus on Carson. It’s time to make the best of a somber mood and have a good time. Even if I’m faking it, I need to keep these spirits up. My boys deserve it.